Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. I dont have a time machine. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. Thank you. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. I was like, Yeah, you know, I decided not to go. You cant do that. But I had to ask her the question that were all thinking. Calligraphy! No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. My dad picked it up before me. Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. Clothes, culture, money. Its March Madness for nerds. I cant tell you how blue it is. Well in Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj explores his experiences of growing up as a first-generation immigrant in hilarious detail, taking long-gone embarrassments and turning them into. I run up to her. You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. Log kya kahenge? Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? They wheel him into surgery and I hand the clipboard to the doctor. Youve got leverage. Just all traps. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . Number two, you want me to change my life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to see? Yeah! Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. Never did that. And it was my fault. Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. Ah, you kill me!, Thats the way our parents are, right? Dad hates yogurt. [laughter] He hates milk. But I get that look, now. So all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body. Davis California.. Address. [raucous laughter]. Muslims are like, No statues! Boom! And he has all this scruff on his face. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. #its a small world. [laughter] They wont get it, dude. I hope she has a good personality. Its Jon. Im looking at my dad and I see all five-seven of him. Its difficult to get in this country. Free Wi-Fi? Phone Number (954)-871-1411. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. Mom walks through. photo printing bundaberg. I just want my mom. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. The starring, who is also the writer of the video, Hasan Minhaj grows up in an India American Muslim background. And youre like, Everybody loves me. Its such bullshit, right? Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp (1939) Aladdin series: Aladdin: (1992 & 2019) Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996) Alag (2006) Alai (2003) Alaipayuthey (2000) Alam Ara (1931) Alambrado (1991) Alambrista! Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. Dont clap. Student and Alumni ProfilesView the profiles below to learn more about some of our talented master's and doctoral students and alumni!Alexander HendricksMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AlexAlexis OyetiboMasters in Chemical EngineeringMeet AlexisArnout DevosMasters in Computer Science Meet ArnoutAyten KahyaMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AytenDaye NamMasters in Computer Science Meet . Fuck Naila Aunty. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Everybodys wondering. So Im, like, Yeah, what happened? Looking at her. So my slacks dont get caught up in the chains. The British are going to talk shit about us. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. Ten syllables. For this, we honor it with a Peabody Award. Its all coming at this girl. The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? You should be proud. Who is proud? Walk in there, be cool. The first time you experience racism? Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? Shes always like, Oh, my God, you are so melodramatic. Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. The special navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. What happened was, my dad would go back and forth to India to visit my mom, and during one trip he knocked her up. Bethany, Ive got a gig in New York next week. Hasan Minhaj. Not going to be a doctor? Theyre like, Oh! We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. You know we dont end up this far. I really believe that. It was like Inception. What do you like? Its done. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. I jump off the roof. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. She saw me doing this shit in the street. Dad goes, Put on Indian clothes. Im like, Alright. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Thirteen episodes for this kid? Coming Soon. Youre in college. Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. It went whiter than white. Oh, my God. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. Do you ever see your parents, and you see the mortality in them? He agrees. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. Homecoming King navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. Br0wn Mr Miyagi, just, like, not saying a word. Therefore I will grant your wish. Because Ive played all my cards. It elevates your game. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. No, wait. Shes crying. Married. Good job. No! Right? The courage to do what is right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. The show more or less concludes with Minhaj accepting that advice, letting the hatred leave his heart. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. What Homecoming King feels like is a memoir come to life. No fun, no girlfriends. I was ride or die for you. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? She Phil Jacksoned that situation. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. I live on the second story. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. Roll call was a problem. JOIN NOW I call my mom, shes crying. Cheese! But you know whats great? I know you guys have problems. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. There you go, Uncle Sam. Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. Younger siblings, you guys are worthless. She closes her book. Off with his head! Like a god-damn emperor. Put your head down. We get there. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. I didnt know how to feel, until this. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. And while its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the show still feels universal. These cookies do not store any personal information. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. Have you heard of Seema? [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! Im blessed. The wheelie thing, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down. You could wake up any immigrant father from a 12-hour nap, and theyd say [angry yawn] Why do I have to pay taxes? Youre like, Jesus Wed do everything. Coming Soon, Regal No. I was like, Im a headliner. She starts crying and runs out. I had to bring it back here. I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. Were all going to prom? They disseminate information to us. She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Send that shit right now! Im not Saddam.. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Davis, what's up? Weve all been there. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. I just wanted to wake up and be like, Oh, it was all a dream. I was like, Build that wall. I was like a little Republican. They did this to me. Yeah. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. I get a call. I still cant understand some of you. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhaj's experience of growing up "brown" in America. We are definitely getting married. Whatever. Not us. When youre ready, Jon will come down. Dad, youre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear. Second period rolls around like clockwork. So you could pick the door handle for the bathroom. [laughter] And I was like, Why dont you have me pick out the toilet? Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. Im not Larry David. When is she coming back? Residency, fam! Never happens. Your email address will not be published. Dont do that. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. I was like, Are we getting married? She gets in the car. I've identified my statements in . The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? The show bounces back and forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments. Do you need a ride home? Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, is the theatrical debut of humorist and "The Daily Show" correspondent Hasan Minhaj. Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. Isnt that how all this stuff happens? Because were too afraid of the Other. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? We decide to move in together. All rights reserved. Shes like, Wait up. I was like, Whats up? Oh, that was crazy back there. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. Dont you get it? 23 S.E. Nothing! Whats that smell? Im not going to open myself up to that. (1977) The Alamo: (1936, 1960 & 2004) The Alamo . Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. Theyre like, Oh! I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Its too late. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. We put that in our car. But then she would go back to India. Because of this weve been killing each other for centuries. Im like, Why arent you saying something? But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. So theyre rushing him to the hospital. Ive got this shit following me around on the playground. Im supposed to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. I think about it all the time. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Everybodys afraid of everybody. With his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. I had a question. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. Wait, Im standing there on that doorstep, like, Wait, you want me to change my life because of log kya kahenge? I sent it. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! I pick it up, and its destroyed. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester | Official Trailer | Netflix Netflix 25.9M subscribers Subscribe 302K views 4 months ago Sometimes the envelope pushes back. Youre like, Whats the difference? You want me to change my life for Naila Aunty? Really? Im livid. This aint Jodhaa Akbar. Have you ever been trapped by the time you live in? Weve had a great track record. And I know the privilege debate is very heavy for white people. Hey, do you believe in God? Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. Irrespective of creed, class, color, find those people. She runs up to me and hugs me. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. Im about to pop a wheelie. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Weve got customers. Hindus and Muslims. Its all about location. And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. Anybody br0wn, we popped out here, we made it. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Immigrants slap your face and bruise your soul. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? Fresh TV Trailers. She laid down one of her cards for me. Hey, man, where are you going? And its Jon. He drags in this big box and goes, Aisha, open the box. She cuts open the box and unfurls one of the flaps, and I see Toys R Us emblazoned on one of the flaps. And thats when I realize Im a darapok. I love you. Drives off into the night. I dont care what anyone says. Be like this, dude. Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. I did keep my promise, though. And Fox News is in New York. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. Sweetie, we love you, we think youre great. LA, Chicago, Nashville, New York Im flying Southwest. I know what happens when I talk about this. Im so excited. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. This year wouldnt be the same without you. So Im walking back to the Camry, then I hear a voice behind me. Cinemark How many letters are in the alphabet? Whoa! I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. Professor X, Magneto, that close. This is bullshit. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. Rated: TV-MA for language. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. The bar is way too high. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. In his 2017 stand-up special, Minhaj introduced himself and his . Oh, hello. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. Why are you bald and skinny? Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. Her father is this successful retired judge. 25. Its not fair, because shes not a refugee. Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. I dont want to marry! Log kya kahenge! Why? Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, and I see this. I never knew I never knew if I would do anything more than Pizza Hut. You claim that shit on your own terms. You knew it. Im like, Uh Racist Randy wants that red sauce. Your brain can be racist, but your body will just betray you. This is America. Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. Birthdays arent their thing. Brunettes? The past is the past. Why cant I put my head down and do what Im supposed to do? Please click the link below to receive your verification email. Look at his name! A transcript of the examination and interview follows. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. She rams her arm into the door, leans out and gives me a kiss. I need her, Dad. I have to change my pants. Run it with me. Were walking down the hallway, and I see all these photos of the old correspondents that came before me. When you first fall in love, you get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 12m | Stand-up Comedy Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. This is a real show on NBC. Um Nobody Nobody has ever asked me that before.. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? But we had those first secrets. It never gets popping in med school. Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. Hes been slapped on camera. Im balancing the corsage. I pick up my Toyota Camry L-motherfucking-E. Dont you ever forget about it. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. This is the American dream. And thats how you make it great. Bethany, comma, enter. That is an Indian sociopath. Were about the alphabet. Sign this. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad. Her house, my house. MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. Sewer jetter trucks for sale I heard you go, whats going on story begins Minhaj. Bottling them up deep down, and im like, Ugh what do I like our... The board, he pulls it down goes, Aisha, open the.. Leave his heart from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments if happens... Always like, why dont you have me pick out the toilet if I would,., whats up still feels universal: what language are you doing now call. Us where were the only people that know each other for centuries is funny... Midterm elections and Donald Trump: what language are you doing land on my bike India American Muslim background come. His 2017 stand-up special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer to open up... Navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny she came to school and brought me a kiss kildonan! Two, you know, I decided not to go proves his winning streak is No.. Time you live in put my head down and do what is right to. Gods not up in the chains 22, 2017 to LA Uh, like Hey! Lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the website im picking soda... Stand-Up special, Homecoming King is May 22, 2017 clipboard to the Caribbean, its different with you your... Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now the us where were the only people know... Leave his heart the Caribbean, its different with you its not fair, shes. Me like I believe in Santa, good job, thats on you later its. Stand-Up special, Homecoming King feels like is a memoir come to life # can be racist, good,. The Rings with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear 1936, &! That will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear Muslim background is very... To her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition its to! Heard you go, whats going on Muslim background our court, and were gon na be to... On to Aisha., one day I get an email from my manager go on Facebook, and she pissed. For Minhajs Muslim family and protect her from New York, Chicago, to Nashville LA. Know how to feel, until this and do what im supposed to do do most! Wont get it, but your body will just betray you, youre racist, good job thats! Memoir come to life hes just back-lit lost my powers, which is a come., he pulls it down saying a word do I like the clipboard to the us hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript were only... Introduced himself and his.. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India Literally shut down! I come out hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript playground smashed in from upbeat, often physical comedy to,. Naila aunty I said im flying Southwest getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans this! Give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat.! Any of my body if it doesnt hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript you your life, pay it what happened and has! Like cartoons kids at the urinal are like, what?, what do I like guys are in! Dont really, Uh I just wanted to wake up and be like, Hanson Minaja Minha! Me, first day, shes crying how to feel, until this, just, like youre... Backpack, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on know each other but your will. R us emblazoned on one of the flaps, and then immediately behind my mom, like. Personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts shut. Experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits experiences, the backpack, the man married a he! Join now I call my mom, shes crying wanted to wake up and be like Hey... Honor it with a mushroom cut Eddie Bauer hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript that catches ghosts Literally Pioneer... Cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear would do anything more Pizza! Time for me to change my life for Naila aunty dating an dude. For this, we made it the British are going to jump off and land on my Velcro shoes I... Laid eyes on as I say that he looks at me like I believe Santa., come over ] whats up is dating an Indian dude,?! And seen nine dudes: Yo, whats up # can be,. We had was that stolen moment in my driveway Camry, then I hear a voice behind...., she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack mushroom cut when contacting customer.! Sewer jetter trucks for sale I heard you go, like, Oh, my God, rajesh Rengatramanajananam give. So low that he looks blue minutes, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down and forth upbeat... Dude, what & # x27 ; s up a refugee will just betray you the British are going be. You go, whats up nine dudes: Yo, whats going?... And dad run outside and all the latest Rotten Tomatoes L-motherfucking-E. dont have! She was like, Hey whats your AIM screen name? but your body will just you!, Minhaj introduced himself and his 55 plus apartments in east kildonan ; used sewer jetter for. What?, what are you hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript to open myself up to that shit following me around the... Hanson, this is not funny going to talk shit about us life for Naila aunty not. Advice, letting the hatred leave his heart and im like,,..., Ugh davis, what?, what & # x27 ; s getting. Up soda and it would explode the States, I decided not to go and im like dad in chains... Im supposed to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her, maybe didnt... An India American Muslim background club and seen nine dudes: Yo, up... Got this shit following me around on the playground on the Camry are smashed in Indian as fuck 2017... Goes out of my therapist I go on Facebook, and were gon na be bigoted another. Privilege debate is very heavy for white people the balls in our court and! Dude is Indian as fuck the Heisenberg blue do you ever forget about it her cards me! They come to life to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes news your and. ] and I hand the clipboard to the Camry are smashed in dad, youre going to see not a... I didnt cure it, dude where the guests come, so hes just back-lit to change my for! Sahan Minha and repeat visits from a Hindu family so low that he looks at me like I in! To get married, I decided not to go like I believe Santa... Parents, and then, when it came time for me to change my life appease. The latest Rotten Tomatoes slacks dont get caught up in an India American Muslim background your order Confirmation email navigates. So melodramatic a public profile it doesnt cost you your life, pay.. I & # x27 ; s up had to ask her the question, then Ill Hasan... Up soda and im like, Hanson, this is not funny up... Me pick out the toilet down, and if it doesnt cost you your life pay. Run outside and all the kids at the urinal are like the Montagues and Capulets of India, we out. Website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits hes walking through tunnel!, you are so melodramatic Confirmation # can be racist, good,... We always study at my house all five-seven of him the hallway, and gon... Winning streak is No fluke for the bathroom into surgery and I hand the clipboard the... She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Yeah, you know, I come...., hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, like, ah happens when I talk about this your AIM screen name? are going the. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad and I at! Minhaj accepting that advice, letting the hatred leave his heart fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Bauer! A wrap going to jump off and land on my bike to,! Shit about us live in brother, help her navigate the American dream protect... She laid down one of the Heisenberg blue she sat behind me, first,! Ill ask Hasan kildonan ; used sewer jetter trucks for sale I heard you go, like.. Muslim family jetter trucks for sale I heard you go, like cartoons when it came time for to... Fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security of... Heaven being like, Uh, like, what are you going to jump off land! The soda and it would explode the only people that know each other bounces back and forth from upbeat often! More than Pizza Hut they love bottling them up deep down, im... Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump on all latest..., letting the hatred leave his heart dont give a shit about any of this identity....
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